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"Die alte Huhn" would only work in some regions of Germany if Huhn is the family name of the woman. It wouldn’t be an offense when used by e.g. villagers: Die alte Huhn hat mir erzählt, dass der alte Schmidt gestorben ist. (Old Mrs Huhn told me, that old Mr Schmidt has died.) "Das alte Huhn" would be the correct translation in your example and is ...


In Swiss German (call it a dialect, we call it the proper German) we tend to say: Öpper hets mal wider nötig which freely translated to standard German would be written: Jemand hat es mal wieder (dringend) nötig OR Jemand hat es (dringend) nötig Variations would also be: Hier hat's jemand (dringend) nötig Der/Die braucht's mal wieder ...


Similar to your English version: Da muss (wohl) jemand flachgelegt werden. Variations: Jemand muss mal wieder flachgelegt werden. Jemand muss wohl wieder flachgelegt werden. Da muss jemand mal wieder flachgelegt werden. Da muss wohl jemand mal wieder flachgelegt werden. "Someone didn't [have sex] in a long time": Da hat wohl jemand ...


It should be das alte Huhn for the right grammar and it definitly is insulting. Not in a very bad way but still. If you are saying die alte Huhn you are refering to the woman, with the last name Huhn and then this is of course no insult.


Since you also (in a comment) asked for short versions, the shortest I've actually heard is the expression: Er/Sie ist wohl untervögelt. or obvious albeit slightly longer variations: Da ist wohl jemand untervögelt.

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