“I call bullshit” – German counterpart?

Question

I cannot come up with a good German counter-part to:

I call bullshit.

Some things I pondered so far include:

• Das ist Blödsinn.

• So’n Blödsinn.

My problem is that these directly refer to the thing being discussed, while “I call bullshit” is a bit more generally said (though everyone knows what is meant).

Answer 1

More freely translated would be "Niemals" (like "never ever").
But staying close to the bullshit I would go for "Quatsch" or simply "auf keinen Fall".

Answer 2

Schmarrn!

Unsinn!

Stuss!

And you can add Das ist doch … before these.

Answer 3

bullshit (noun)

• in and around Cologne: Kappes
• southern Germany: Schmarrn (also written Schmarren)
• colloquial: Mist, Bockmist, Quatsch, Quatsch mit Soße
• very colloquial and not widely used: Hirnfurz
• presentable: Unsinn, Blödsinn, Nonsens, Humbug (the latter one originating from English)
• bullshit has been adopted by many Germans too, but it is very colloquial.

Quatsch and Blödsinn (both: nonsense) may be intended to be Unsinn and to be fun. However, most people don’t take it that exact.

to bullshit

Scheiß quatschen, Scheiß(e) erzählen, seichen (Bavarian for heavy raining or urinating)

to bullshit somebody

jemanden verscheißern, jemanden verarschen, jemanden veralbern

presentable: jemanden in die Irre führen (to mislead sb.)

I call bullshit

• (Erzähl keinen | So ein | Absoluter | Das ist (doch) ) < bullshit noun >!
• Verarsch mich nicht!
• Verarschen kann ich mich alleine.
• Hör auf, Scheiße zu labern!