Shame vs. Embarrassment

Question

I have been able to identify two aspects where the English language distinguishes between shame and embarrassment:

1. Shame relates to having done something wrong, while embarrassment is a result of having done something foolish.

2. One can be ashamed of oneself without anyone else knowing about it, but embarrassment is usually something you experience in the eyes of others.

I wonder how these nuances are handled in German? In addition to this general question, I also have a more specific question along these lines. I recently tried to translate the phrase “she all but died of embarrassment” in the context of someone who peed her pants while laughing at a joke. I have been given at least three choices for “embarrassment”, which I will perhaps withhold until I see what other people would like to offer.

(The question originally arose in the Yiddish context, where we have in addition to the three German options I know of, at least three Hebrew terms to choose from. I still don’t know which one exactly hits the mark for the case of peeing your pants.)

Answer 1

Tricky one. I would use as possible translation in these cases (bold preferred):

Shame relates to having done something wrong:
Scham (maybe even Schande, but that's a really strong word)

embarrassment is a result of having done something foolish:
Peinlichkeit, Scham, maybe even Blamage (strong word again)

ashamed of oneself without anyone else knowing:
Scham (schämen)

embarrassment is usually something you experience in the eyes of others:
Peinlichkeit, Verlegenheit, Scham, maybe even Blamage (strong word again)

Yes, I would say Scham is a possible translation for all four situations, but it really depends on the context to choose the appropriate (not saying "correct" on purpose) word.

she all but died of embarrassment:
Sie wäre beinahe vor Scham gestorben.
Sie wäre am liebsten vor Scham im Boden versunken.

These two are the most common translations for your situation. The first one is almost word by word. Even though I marked "Peinlichkeit" as preferred above, I do not see a good way to use it here. It is "peinlich", but you do not "die", because something is "peinlich".

Answer 2

so I think I need to add something that hasn't been mentioned. From a functional point of view Scham and Peinlichkeit are not the same. Scham is something you FEEL, nothing else. It is not applicable for shame in situations like the following:

It's a shame.

It doesn't matter here, why it is a shame. Scham just doesn't work there. The most common translation would be Schande. Peinlichkeit on the contrary is used for the situation. You can see or do it, you can blush because of it but you can't really feel it. Thus these 2 words are not at all interchangeable for simple functional reasons.

As far as the respective verbs are concerned there are:

sich schämen - Ich schäme mich (für etwas).

peinlich sein - Mir ist etwas peinlich.

The former is definitely stronger here. They can be translated to

I am ashamed of... I am embarrassed because...

Which of the German ones is more appropriate depends mainly on the strength of the feeling than on considerations of why you feel that way or the question whether someone else is aware of your feelings or not... this statement is based on my personal perception of the words though.

You must be careful with peinlich by the way. The person who feels it is NOT the subject but is in dative case as in the example above.

Ich bin peinlich.

This does not mean "I am embarrassed". It is derogatory meaning "I am awkward."

Answer 3

There is also a newly created word "fremdschämen". It is not in the Duden I think, but it is used quite a lot. It explains the way one feels, if someone else is making a fool of himself. You feel ashamed seeing him while doing it. I heard it the first time from a juror in a casting show, saying it to a girl who did an awful performance.

Here is a definition: fremdschämen in Wikitionary