As I am not a native speaker and I am only a beginner in the language, I just want to be clear that a sentence that I have tried translating on my own (for creative writing purposes) is correctly translated. I would not want anything to be off!
"By my hands will the greatest of empires crumble."
And I dug around for some words, and strung together this:
"Durch meine Hände wird das größte Reich zerfallen."
Would someone please confirm if the sentence structure and the meaning is preserved while being grammatically correct – or if, in fact, there is a better way to write this phrase while preserving the English structure? The story I am working on is inspired by some biblical stories, and has a formal, old English feel to it, as the atmosphere is very important to the story.
Basically, what's important to me is knowing: Would this translation preserve the same implications as the English sentence does? And would it have the same feel of the old, formal and biblical style that I am searching for?