Living in Germany I almost exclusively hear "Marmelade" for any spread made of fruits including "Erdbeermarmelade", "Himbeermarmelade", "Aprikosenmarmelade" and so on. Only rarely I also hear "Konfitüre" or, living in Swabia of course "Gsälz".

Surprisingly when going out shopping this is completely different. We do not seem to have any "Marmelade" here! Instead there is a variety of "Konfitüren" or even a "Fruchtaufstrich". The latter is something I only read from labels on the jars but is seems never to be used anywhere else.

Is there a difference in the meaning from spoken to written German? Are there rules when to use "Marmelade", "Konfitüre", or "Fruchtaufstrich"? What would I ask for in a German hotel?